have yourself.. a merry little Xmas

head tilted, jaws dropped, house empty, doors locked, eyes on the verge of tearing, maybe, mind's clogged, "do they know is Xmas time again....."

all began, on the eve of the eve of xmas. A special day, not.
Dressed up for the occasion, carefully wrapped the pressie, sprayed some fragrance and skipped my way.
Day began, in cloud nine. dropped down to earth in time. like an escort, once again i was, for wine n dine. Sat there, smiled, a pretty face maybe (i hope), tried to chat but its not my league. Situation familiar, yet vaguely had anything been rendered to help, i wonder why, must be me.

limit reached, over coffee and tea. an hour or so spent idly. its a special day though, take note not to spoil, though it didnt feel quite anything close to being in hell. i took my leave, at correct timing, didnt quite feel like going tru the same thing, juz the next evening. sitting around at Mox, or beside a majong table, juz wasnt ideal for a xmas evedidnt initiate a meet up, equivilent to xmas eve together, spent the next morning, wondering what i could do altogether.

morning blues dragged till mid afternoon, decided i had to leave the house soon. Met up frens, here and there, went around congested town, though i didnt wish i wasnt there. went clubbin, with a fren who wanted to drink, turns out he was crushed, coz a rejection i think. clubbin was ok, kinda sucky maybe. had a few nice grooves, but spent the rest of the time pulasting idly. fren was distracted, his heartbreak was there, his heartbreak was a my fren, perhaps it was better if he wasnt there. Fren got moody, i couldnt do nothin', kinda hard to enjoy dancing when your alone or the friends i hardly know but were clubbin'.

time flew, fren puked, foned rang, it wasnt good,
your were drunk, you were cryin,
it was my fault, you said i left u, dat nobody loved u .. i eyes were far from drying
i couldnt manage two places at one.
Fren was on the ground, n meetin u at once.
i took sometime to arrive at maxwell
so find u sobbin real hard
my heart felt like hell
your frens looked at me with scorn
i was jus a puny nobody
they lifted you onto your feet,
what was i to do?
follow you? but i was treated like a nobody
your frens ignored my presence,
you fell to the floor,
you sat on the floor,
i sat across, my head touchin yours, tryin to ease your downpour.
i was a nobody, you got onto a cab
i had rushed to maxwell,
only to look like an idiot


msged u, over n over,
u finally woke up like at 4
my day spent waiting was almost over.
my waiting has been futile
it was worthless
didnt mean anithing to u,
didnt mean anithing,
coz it was nothing..

nothing happened
nothing eventful
im an idiot

merry xmas