What do you look forward to?
What do you look forward to?
After a day of work, when you are stressed, when you are bored, when you are peeved but with what you can't figure out..
A nice tv show? lazing on the sofa with a tub of ice-cream in hand (somehow this habit of mine evolved to mango yogurt with grapes/raisins/kiwi, (so healthy hor.. sigh, so irritating) staring at the fishes in my tank, reading a book, out for a jog, contemplating to do some art but usually it only materializes if im feeling energetic..
over time, isn't it normal to want to have someone there, someone who just seems so right? to end the day with a smile and kiss, rather than cold dry lips and an expressionless face. Yet ironically such simple wishes must entail the greatest of difficulties, and peopel all around look upon with great doubts.
My first, my only ex so far.. i realise i had that life in bliss. A stupid guy who buys 2 cartons of milk just coz its what i like. extra of everything he remembers i commenting is nice. someone who cooked for me breakfast when i was still sound asleep in his bed, someone who went to get vcds to watch knowing i dont like to b bored. someone who massaged the balls of my feet when they hurt during the first week i worked at g2000. So much more, with little need to elaborate, but yet, something was missing and i threw it all away.
Not that i regret though, i was more than sure of what i was doing. But it just set a note in my mind how unclear expectations are. What am i looking forward to? what is it that i want. am i askin for too much each time something good appears, but there is always a flaw? L would probably think im living in my own fantasy world like most other ajs. All expectations but impractical, unattainable. But is it?
After a day of work, when you are stressed, when you are bored, when you are peeved but with what you can't figure out..
A nice tv show? lazing on the sofa with a tub of ice-cream in hand (somehow this habit of mine evolved to mango yogurt with grapes/raisins/kiwi, (so healthy hor.. sigh, so irritating) staring at the fishes in my tank, reading a book, out for a jog, contemplating to do some art but usually it only materializes if im feeling energetic..
over time, isn't it normal to want to have someone there, someone who just seems so right? to end the day with a smile and kiss, rather than cold dry lips and an expressionless face. Yet ironically such simple wishes must entail the greatest of difficulties, and peopel all around look upon with great doubts.
My first, my only ex so far.. i realise i had that life in bliss. A stupid guy who buys 2 cartons of milk just coz its what i like. extra of everything he remembers i commenting is nice. someone who cooked for me breakfast when i was still sound asleep in his bed, someone who went to get vcds to watch knowing i dont like to b bored. someone who massaged the balls of my feet when they hurt during the first week i worked at g2000. So much more, with little need to elaborate, but yet, something was missing and i threw it all away.
Not that i regret though, i was more than sure of what i was doing. But it just set a note in my mind how unclear expectations are. What am i looking forward to? what is it that i want. am i askin for too much each time something good appears, but there is always a flaw? L would probably think im living in my own fantasy world like most other ajs. All expectations but impractical, unattainable. But is it?
posted by ray at 5:52 PM
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