Quiet

its quiet
i hear my heart beat
somehow louder than ever
sometimes harder then normal
sometimes, i wonder why its pulsating so fast

its quiet
every now and than
i get that mad rush of fluids to the eye
the angry, tormented, sad, warmth juice
that merely oozes out a little and stops, how irritating
unreleased

i dont know what im waiting for
i dont know why i ended up like that
i dont know who to trust
i dont trust myself animore

i dont hear as much
i dont see as much

but infomation overload occurs
forcing into my mind
its not like i have a choice
i don't .. so stop blaming me if i think too much

already reaching a point of disbelief
chatter seems like clatter
smiles like potrait
i tell myself to stop wondering

i wonder.. artificial insanity
i wonder .. shuttup

i ask of the devils to leave me alone
yet i wait for myself to be found
what crap, acting pitiful and victimising myself
im not a victim,
juz merely thinking too much..


haha thats what im suppose to believe in