School ( II )
Primary School. The one thing that strikes out most would be the big old raintree which stood beside the car park. Why? because so many of my fondest memories would somehow include that never moving living piece of history.
Very often during recess, a group of us would gather under the tree, playing our games like "tree catching" where we could only run on the roots, without any hints of agony. Life in school, carefree. All we tought about was school work, getting home, tv, games.. when we could go to the playground, cycle, learn roller blading or about collect the dinosaur bookmarks which came with Twisties.
Than came the games, block catching, playing with water bombs. Socialising, even at that young age was already the building up of skills you would need in the later part of life. But none of us would have tought about it that way, than.
Games, seemingly harmless, already so dreadful to think about it now. Not the literary games actually, but the anticipation, prediction. Life is no longer the fantasy i tought i could maintain but it would be like maintaining the colouful soap bubbles we would blow on the corridoor floor. Impossible to prevent the inevitable. Enjoy for the few seconds the swirling colours on the surface of the bubbles before they burst, leaving nothing but a wet patch.
"its ok, can always blow up another one what. why not blow up two side by side. or build a pyramid!"
i woke up from my dissapointment my giant bubble burst. (if only dissapointments got shorter and shorter and not longer and not longer)
Thunderstorm. The school light were on when the overcast skies were blanketed. Recess and my group of friends were into the school craze - "pen fairy". Yea, supernatural stuff. Drawing up a few simple words and a "home" to start and end the game (or rather the calling up of a spirit) the four of us held a single pen.
"cannot let go, if not bad things will happen"
we all nodded. Someone did a simple ritual to call on "someone" to help us with a few questions and the pen started moving.
was it someone who was moving the pen? why are my hands so cold? you take a gulp of sliva down. Better not to panic, you cant panic or else u look stupid. What about the pen? you cant let go. Once you got yourself on this joyride you cant exit. You cant exit a rollercoaster once it goes up the track. Lifes like that. not a choice, but than again, you already chose to do so.
the pen moves. Your hands are cold, real cold. Wait, its the pen that is cold. Hands go wet, everyone seems a little too serious about it.
"tell me my name." said someone. The letters were pointed out.
This is so freaky, please let it end. But, no, i have to go through this. The light at the end of the tunnel. There, no matter how grim you have to believe it. (ya, no jokes about the light being a train in your direction now yea?) You dont seem to be the only one who wants it to end than. Your good friends also seem to be in their own state of panic. Wait, the leader is calm. Is he just rubbishing? getting a kick outta scaring us? why do we let ourselves get fooled? wait.. is this real? what if it is real.
you hold on and after a few moments the game ends.
a heave of a sigh of relieve. talk about 'personal experiences'.
"so cold lor my hands just now."
its amazing, getting a kick outta scaring ourselves. Till the scary stuff really happens. Chatting over the table, suddenly one of the girls in our class runs to us.
"something happened! jane (*not her real name) lost her mind". This was scary. We all rushed to the scene, our classroom where the girls were really panicking. Was it a joke? not. Some girls were in the corners. Quiet, scared, on the brink of tearing. Janes better friends stood by her holding her. But there she was, blank. Just staring.
"what happened"
"we were playing "pen fairy" just now when there was screaming and than the game ended. Than jane became like that. She just stare and stare, never talk. Its so scary. Please do something."
"what if she is possessed?" someone whispered.
more panic. what have we got ourselves into.
the school is in a creepy state now due to the storm.
"lets bring her to the canteen, more people there". The best choice, non of us wanted to be alone here away from the crowds. Crowds give us a sense of safety.
We brought her to the canteen. more like pushing her to walk. We looked for her sister who was in a lower sec and she panicked too when she saw what happened. Just a blank gaze on jane's face. No answers, no reactions.
a game gone too far perhaps. a choice. a light at the end of the tunnel.
Very often during recess, a group of us would gather under the tree, playing our games like "tree catching" where we could only run on the roots, without any hints of agony. Life in school, carefree. All we tought about was school work, getting home, tv, games.. when we could go to the playground, cycle, learn roller blading or about collect the dinosaur bookmarks which came with Twisties.
Than came the games, block catching, playing with water bombs. Socialising, even at that young age was already the building up of skills you would need in the later part of life. But none of us would have tought about it that way, than.
Games, seemingly harmless, already so dreadful to think about it now. Not the literary games actually, but the anticipation, prediction. Life is no longer the fantasy i tought i could maintain but it would be like maintaining the colouful soap bubbles we would blow on the corridoor floor. Impossible to prevent the inevitable. Enjoy for the few seconds the swirling colours on the surface of the bubbles before they burst, leaving nothing but a wet patch.
"its ok, can always blow up another one what. why not blow up two side by side. or build a pyramid!"
i woke up from my dissapointment my giant bubble burst. (if only dissapointments got shorter and shorter and not longer and not longer)
Thunderstorm. The school light were on when the overcast skies were blanketed. Recess and my group of friends were into the school craze - "pen fairy". Yea, supernatural stuff. Drawing up a few simple words and a "home" to start and end the game (or rather the calling up of a spirit) the four of us held a single pen.
"cannot let go, if not bad things will happen"
we all nodded. Someone did a simple ritual to call on "someone" to help us with a few questions and the pen started moving.
was it someone who was moving the pen? why are my hands so cold? you take a gulp of sliva down. Better not to panic, you cant panic or else u look stupid. What about the pen? you cant let go. Once you got yourself on this joyride you cant exit. You cant exit a rollercoaster once it goes up the track. Lifes like that. not a choice, but than again, you already chose to do so.
the pen moves. Your hands are cold, real cold. Wait, its the pen that is cold. Hands go wet, everyone seems a little too serious about it.
"tell me my name." said someone. The letters were pointed out.
This is so freaky, please let it end. But, no, i have to go through this. The light at the end of the tunnel. There, no matter how grim you have to believe it. (ya, no jokes about the light being a train in your direction now yea?) You dont seem to be the only one who wants it to end than. Your good friends also seem to be in their own state of panic. Wait, the leader is calm. Is he just rubbishing? getting a kick outta scaring us? why do we let ourselves get fooled? wait.. is this real? what if it is real.
you hold on and after a few moments the game ends.
a heave of a sigh of relieve. talk about 'personal experiences'.
"so cold lor my hands just now."
its amazing, getting a kick outta scaring ourselves. Till the scary stuff really happens. Chatting over the table, suddenly one of the girls in our class runs to us.
"something happened! jane (*not her real name) lost her mind". This was scary. We all rushed to the scene, our classroom where the girls were really panicking. Was it a joke? not. Some girls were in the corners. Quiet, scared, on the brink of tearing. Janes better friends stood by her holding her. But there she was, blank. Just staring.
"what happened"
"we were playing "pen fairy" just now when there was screaming and than the game ended. Than jane became like that. She just stare and stare, never talk. Its so scary. Please do something."
"what if she is possessed?" someone whispered.
more panic. what have we got ourselves into.
the school is in a creepy state now due to the storm.
"lets bring her to the canteen, more people there". The best choice, non of us wanted to be alone here away from the crowds. Crowds give us a sense of safety.
We brought her to the canteen. more like pushing her to walk. We looked for her sister who was in a lower sec and she panicked too when she saw what happened. Just a blank gaze on jane's face. No answers, no reactions.
a game gone too far perhaps. a choice. a light at the end of the tunnel.
posted by ray at 12:17 AM
1 Comments:
Hi Ray....Dom here...
I was very touched by your latest entries because of having gone through variations of the same emotions - white/red love, black hate, grey pathos, pink serene contentment.
In my opinion, you're still young and can learn slowly what happiness means to you over time.But you're still in the stage of being overly self-absorbed(remember you said that if you had nothing to look forward to, you'd end a r'ship regardless of the other person?). Well, just remember that you can also be on the receiving end...
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