Flipside
Though my entry a few weeks ago was about how the media in Singapore discriminates gays, i suddenly have the urge to bring out the flipside, which is some reasons why gays create this discrimination whether selfishly or unintentionally..
As i was talking to my xing jiaos (newbies) in camp today, the usual "break the silence" topics jumped to an interesting topic that seems to surface every now and than in camp - gays.
But my xing jiaos brought about new revelations about how daring some gays are these days. One of them was telling us about how he had 2 encounters with gays (a word which sent a slight playful grimace to his face). The first one being about how he got hit on when he used to work at Shaw cinema. He spoke of how this random guy came up to him and addressed him as "darling" and asked if he could refill his popcorn (for free.. cheepo...) and later made persistant small talk with him. As he was working, he couldnt "escape". The second being about how he and his friend got approached by a guy on the street asking if they could be friends..
Another of my xing jiaos than excitedly told of how he was waiting one night around maxwell area for the Night Rider when some random guy just hugged him and said he was very cute. Somehow it seems that its becoming common knowledge that tanjong pagar is a gay clubbing area (Note: good time to avoid clubbing since CNY brings people to the area this few weeks)
This brought to mind other incidents i've encountered or heard of like people who peep when you pee at the urinal, stares in the male loo, cruising and even hanky panky in the loo, guys approaching other guys at swimming pools, with an increasing trend of doing so on the streets or in shopping centres... etc.
while it is already hot/cold from the gay standpoint - when it comes to making friends it sometimes works when you are a little more daring, yet it is certainly disdainful when you get attention you don't want (and even worst when it invades your privacy .. or private space), lets view it from the straight standpoint.
We get irritated or even put off by attention we don't want. Imagine an unattractive girl (im imagining fat with thick lips and messy hair) approaches you and shows you interest. Your first reaction? ..YUCK.. or that would be at least for the most of us. But why? because it is not our cup of tea. "to each his own" and perhaps someone would find that same girl attractive, but not you. Imagine that same attention persists or invades your privacy: following you, trying to hold onto a converstion or even physical contact.. Not only would you feel like throwing a thunderflash and make your escape, you probably would have the jitters and complain about the incident to friends at an open opportunity. Lets face it. No matter how attractive some gays might be, they will never be a straight's cup of tea. And therefore they would be treated with disgust should we cross the line.
Just as how Singaporeans like to generalise so often, (how the Dec celebration "spray-your-face-than-molest-you-foreigners" saga brought about people suggesting to ban aerosol "fun" sprays in the StraitsTimes and some bad light cast upon "all male foreign workers in Singapore").. a few rotten gays, especially those who invade privacy or do indecent exposures/acts in public places, is enough to cause straights to look at gays with disgust. This being more serious than all the tiny faults some of them like to pinpoint like the spread of AIDS, being immoral/unnatural, wierd, making a fool of ourselves.. yada yada (.. i've heard that so many times already...you don't have to reiterate..)
Yet most of gays are disgusted by these group of rotten gays themselves at some levels, and at other levels, gays can be divided in their ability to condone various acts. If there is something gays can do about it, it would be to become more sensitive to how the straights think and avoid scaring them off. They should also boost the reputation by being good models of the gay circle especially to straight friends they have outted themselves to. Than maybe the one day most Singaporeans accept gays in society would be a one day that comes sooner.
As i was talking to my xing jiaos (newbies) in camp today, the usual "break the silence" topics jumped to an interesting topic that seems to surface every now and than in camp - gays.
But my xing jiaos brought about new revelations about how daring some gays are these days. One of them was telling us about how he had 2 encounters with gays (a word which sent a slight playful grimace to his face). The first one being about how he got hit on when he used to work at Shaw cinema. He spoke of how this random guy came up to him and addressed him as "darling" and asked if he could refill his popcorn (for free.. cheepo...) and later made persistant small talk with him. As he was working, he couldnt "escape". The second being about how he and his friend got approached by a guy on the street asking if they could be friends..
Another of my xing jiaos than excitedly told of how he was waiting one night around maxwell area for the Night Rider when some random guy just hugged him and said he was very cute. Somehow it seems that its becoming common knowledge that tanjong pagar is a gay clubbing area (Note: good time to avoid clubbing since CNY brings people to the area this few weeks)
This brought to mind other incidents i've encountered or heard of like people who peep when you pee at the urinal, stares in the male loo, cruising and even hanky panky in the loo, guys approaching other guys at swimming pools, with an increasing trend of doing so on the streets or in shopping centres... etc.
while it is already hot/cold from the gay standpoint - when it comes to making friends it sometimes works when you are a little more daring, yet it is certainly disdainful when you get attention you don't want (and even worst when it invades your privacy .. or private space), lets view it from the straight standpoint.
We get irritated or even put off by attention we don't want. Imagine an unattractive girl (im imagining fat with thick lips and messy hair) approaches you and shows you interest. Your first reaction? ..YUCK.. or that would be at least for the most of us. But why? because it is not our cup of tea. "to each his own" and perhaps someone would find that same girl attractive, but not you. Imagine that same attention persists or invades your privacy: following you, trying to hold onto a converstion or even physical contact.. Not only would you feel like throwing a thunderflash and make your escape, you probably would have the jitters and complain about the incident to friends at an open opportunity. Lets face it. No matter how attractive some gays might be, they will never be a straight's cup of tea. And therefore they would be treated with disgust should we cross the line.
Just as how Singaporeans like to generalise so often, (how the Dec celebration "spray-your-face-than-molest-you-foreigners" saga brought about people suggesting to ban aerosol "fun" sprays in the StraitsTimes and some bad light cast upon "all male foreign workers in Singapore").. a few rotten gays, especially those who invade privacy or do indecent exposures/acts in public places, is enough to cause straights to look at gays with disgust. This being more serious than all the tiny faults some of them like to pinpoint like the spread of AIDS, being immoral/unnatural, wierd, making a fool of ourselves.. yada yada (.. i've heard that so many times already...you don't have to reiterate..)
Yet most of gays are disgusted by these group of rotten gays themselves at some levels, and at other levels, gays can be divided in their ability to condone various acts. If there is something gays can do about it, it would be to become more sensitive to how the straights think and avoid scaring them off. They should also boost the reputation by being good models of the gay circle especially to straight friends they have outted themselves to. Than maybe the one day most Singaporeans accept gays in society would be a one day that comes sooner.
posted by ray at 1:09 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home